Chemical Warfare

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.  And swing!" -Leo Buscaglia

I feel bad.

It's mostly the nausea during treatment, but it's also the fatigue after it.  I hate being tired constantly.  Too tired to do things with the wife and kids.

I feel bad that the Erbitux is destroying my face.  I feel hideous.  I don't know how my wife can stand to be around me.  It's like a second puberty has landed square on top of me.

I'm constantly thirsty.  I drank a whole bottle of apple juice the other day.  Now I'm eyeing the pineapple juice and the orange juice.

I can't sleep.  I'm constantly waking up to go to the bathroom (see the thirsty thing).  My rest is deep, but fitful, and in brief increments.  It doesn't help my fatigue.

The drugs - Zofran, Compazine, Doxycyclene, steroids, cremes, some Omeprazole for this, some Naproxen for that.  Take this pill to counteract that pill.

I'm one-third through.  Another third to go until a CT scan.  Then we'll see.

2nd treatment.  The cool washcloth helps my face...

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.  With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation." -Psalm 91:14-16

Breaking Dad

"It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult undertaking which more than anything else, will determine its outcome" -William James

January 2nd, 2014 and my new year starts out with my first round of chemo.  I hit the cancer center at 10:30 in the morning for bloodwork and consultation with my oncologist. Treatment subsequently started with a round of vitamins, tylenol, and benadryl to help with delivery and side effects of the chemo.  I bided the time as best I could would the kids:

MADMA Season 9 cliffhanger!

Next came the chemo - FOLFIRI regimen.  The link to each of the drugs and their side effects are listed below, thanks to chemocare.com:

Erbitux

Irinotecan

This lasted another SIX HOURS.  Thankfully, only the first regimen will be this long, but followup sessions will still last about four hours.  So, to pass the time, I rested...

Benadryl makes you drowsy!

Watched a little TV...

Phineas and Ferb!

...and finally at about 5:30 when the regimen had finished, decided to freak out a couple of nurses and the doctor on duty by having an extremely rare side effect to the Irinotecan.  You know how sometimes you get that little muscle spasm in your eyelid and your eye twitches?  Imagine those spasms in most of your major muscle groups!  Thankfully it wasn't painful, just REALLY annoying.  I had to laugh though when the doc came in straight from his yoga session without even stopping to put his shoes on!  They tried to calm it with more benadryl, but only with the passing of time did the twitches end.

So at 6:30, the nurses sent me on my way, a full 8 hours after arriving in the morning.  Not the greatest way to pass the day, but at least I was with my family.

Now it's Saturday, two days removed, and I'm trying to manage the fatigue and the nausea as best I can.  I am only eating a fraction of what I normally do, which isn't a bad thing, I just have to take it slow.  I find keeping myself as busy as I can takes my mind off of the fatigue as well.

To close today, I would like to thank everyone who has been so encouraging to our family.  Please keep me and my family in your prayers, and don't worry, we'll holler if we need anything.  I will leave you until next time with a verse to ring in the new year:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."  -Isaiah 43:18-19

POWER Port!

"There is no such thing as no chance." -Henry Ford

 Good day to you all.  This morning I headed once more to the hospital to get my Power Port inserted prior to chemo this Thursday.  I went in feeling pretty confident...

We told my daughter this was a kilt

After a quick shave/epilady of my chest followed by a nice warm scrubdown of the area I was wheeled off to surgery once again.

Now, I'm not sure how many of you have had surgery to know what "twilight" sedation is, but to sum it up, instead of putting a patient completely under it's kind of like a drunken stupor without the hangover the next day.  Typically I am a pretty cheap date - the nurse starts the anesthesia and the next thing I know I'm waking up back in my room with drool running down my chin.  Not so today.  She must have administered it much slower than normal because I got to feel every needle full of local anesthetics.  It's kind of unnerving considering they are inserting the catheter straight into my jugular (chemo burns up smaller veins and must be administered into larger veins like the jugular).  The "port" portion was inserted into my chest between the skin and pectoral muscles.  The doc said I have pretty tough skin.  He was having a time of it trying to get the port in there.  The result?

Hey, that wasn't too bad! Sponsored by Lay's

So here I sit back at home.  The meds are wearing off so the pain is coming on.  It feels like hammer blows to my chest right now.  For now I will rest.  Next post will be chemo round #1...

"I can finally see

that You're right there beside me

I am not my own

I have been made new

please don't let me go

I desperately need You"

-Meteor Shower, Owl City

In the beginning

On December 19th, 2013 my cell phone rang.  It was the day of my father's 80th birthday.  Instead of my father, though, it was my oncologist.  I had been waiting for the results of my biopsy that was performed the week prior. The cancer had returned.

My journey with cancer began in late 2010.  I can't say particularly when, since my symptoms were slow in development and painless in nature.  I passed some blood - not much - but persistently enough to make me go to the doctor by the end of the year.  One doctor led to another and by February 1st, 2011 (remember snowmageddon?) I was diagnosed with stage III colon cancer.  April 2011 found me in surgery to have my colon resectioned and a port-a-cath inserted for chemo treatments.  Chemo started at the end of April.  One session of FOLFOX every two weeks for twelve total sessions ending in mid-October of 2011.  I was cancer free...

I've been managing cancer since I was 37 years old.  I stayed in remission for almost exactly two years.  Now I must start the fight all over again.